Clutter and Attitudes

Have you ever noticed that when the house is clean, you feel more calm?  While I can’t say how anyone else feels, I know that when my house is a mess, I feel irritable, anxious, and over-all drained.  Knowing this and having experienced both options, why is it so hard to just do it?

I could make excuses for a week.

It’s hard to do it all with two kids in the house.  True, but one of those kids contributes nearly nothing to the mess.  With the exception of clothes, diapers, and bottles, nearly none of the mess is his.  Guess I can’t use that one.

I work full-time.  Another true statement, but I’m sure not every working mom’s house looks this way.  I know moms tend to fall into a trap of trying to do it all, but I feel like I’ve fallen into the opposite trap of doing nothing while trying to not do everything.  Does that make any sense?

I have no help.  I could have help, but I haven’t figured out how to encourage Khaila to help me without doing everything for her.  It’d be nice if I had more help from the hubby, but while I try to get him to see the light, is it fair to my kids to bring them into this chaos every day?

A few times now, I’ve participated in “Tackle It Tuesday” and the results from those days seem to stick.  I need to try to remember how surprised I am every time I finish something I’ve been dreading and I realize it didn’t take as long as I had imagined it would.  This seems to be another big hurdle in my attitude makeover.  I know what will fix part of my negative thinking, now I just need to take the steps to actually fix it.

It’s 7pm and everyone is asleep but me.  I think the time is here for me to close the computer and do something.  There is an overwhelming mine field of toys on the living room floor and two loads of laundry calling my name.  If I can tackle those, I can call Wednesday a success!

Has anyone else faced this challenge head on?  If so, what helped you?

Makeover Monday #3

It’s Monday once again!  Time to start the week off right by listing 5 things that are right with the world.  I challenge anyone who reads this to post their own list and leave me a link!  One by one, we can turn Mondays around from a day we dread to a day we celebrate the start of a new week.  Beyond that, remember these five things when life is bogging you down and remember the things that are truly important!

1. My baby boy is 4 months old today!  I can’t believe time has flown by so fast.  Today, I realized he’ll be 7 months old by Christmas, how fun!!!!
2. My husband is back to work.  After far too long being unemployed, a job offer came in last week and he started today!  It’ll be interesting to see how the three of them adjust to the new schedule!
3. I have an amazing family!!  My sister-in-law is taking care of the kids while hubby is training.  Today was the first time RJ has been with anyone other than mom or dad for the entire day.  He did wonderful, right up to the time we got home!
4. I have made some amazing connections, both online and “in real life”.  It’s refreshing to see the positive side of humanity in the face of so much going wrong.
5. Technology!  There are many things in this world I may have never explored if not for the internet.  This week, handicapped children and Pagans are high on my list of priorities.  I have been blessed with two healthy children and feel secure in my relationship with Jesus, but without knowledge, it’s impossible to have an intelligent conversation on topics such as these!  For an amazing post on the fact that words DO hurt, please stop by Praying For Parker!

How have you been blessed this week?

What a Wonderful Sister!

It’s things like this that give a person the warm and fuzzies!

Last month, I made a commitment to myself that I’m only going to buy Christmas gifts from work at home moms and local shops this year.  Because of that decision, I’ve started stalking the WAHM threads on message boards I visit hoping to find items I like for different family members.  If I had unlimited resources, I see a few things I would place a bid so high no one could beat me in the “See the Light” Fundraiser at Beneath the Rowan Tree on Hyena Cart.  Knowing that she is trying to raise funds for her brother gave me tonight’s warm and fuzzy.  Seriously, check it out, there are some great things on there!

Makeover Monday #2

Every Monday, I’m going to write a list of 5 positive things in my life.  At least in the U.S., we have a tendency to view Mondays as depressing.  It’s the first day of the work week for many, we have a weekend hangover of sorts.  This is a chance to change perspective and view every Monday as a fresh start, an attitude makeover!

1. I have some of the best friends out there!  Even though we only see each other a few times each year, it’s like we haven’t missed a step when we’re together.
2. I have an awesome family!  Last week, my dad and step-mom took Khaila overnight when they knew I was working long hours.  My brother calls just to say hi and to see how I’m doing, even though he has his own busy life.
3. Khaila is back in school!  Because of going down to one income, we had pulled her out of daycare.  Her attitude took a serious turn for the worse.  I’m hoping that now that we have her back in part-time, some of that will resolve itself.  More importantly, she’s happy!
4. I am feeling a bit more in control of my life.  Every day, I’m working a little more on being in control of my own emotions and actions.
5. My children are healthy!  I’m reminded of this today as the MDA telethon is taking place.  A friend whose son is about six months older than Khaila was recently diagnosed with MD.  I’ve only known one other person in my life who was affected by MD and remember the struggles he faced in school.  Having a child who my child has played with facing those same struggles makes me thank God that we have two healthy children.  It also makes me thankful for the telethon that annoyed me as a child.  With the donations they receive, we can pray that someday, parents will not face the issues my friend will face in the coming years.

Give it a try, post a list of five things you’re thankful for!  I’d love it if you link back to your list!

Restarting the Attitude Makeover

It’s time to restart the makeover.  I was so much happier when I refused to get upset about the little things in life.  Whatever happened, I just let it roll off my back and moved on.  Like so many other things, stress built up and knocked me off course.

Monday morning, I’m going to start over.  Tomorrow, I will not let anything step in the way of me having a good day.  I will address anything that needs to be addressed in a positive manner.  I will ignore anything negative, I will not dwell on it.  One day at a time, it really works.

Every day, I will make a list of five good things that happened.  I’ll start that tonight:

1. I had a great time at the races with a friend I hadn’t seen in 13 years.  I hadn’t been to the track in even longer, probably 15 years.  We had a great time introducing Khaila to stock car racing.  It won’t become an every week occurrence, but it is something we can add to our list of things to do close to home.
2. While we were there, we ran into Khaila’s first daycare provider and her husband.  Millie and Grandpa Donnie took care of her from 4 weeks until she was almost two, and then again for a few months before she turned three.  Even though Rick is at home with the kids, I’m almost tempted to ask if she’d watch them a couple of days.  Khaila remembered them and obviously misses them!
3. Three times in one week, I’ve spent time with friends.  There was a time when I felt friendless, but not anymore!
4. Got a great phone call from my Sysco rep.  I love having a good relationship with him!  It makes doing little bits of work on my day off not so painful!
5. I’m shutting my computer as soon as I finish typing this so I can snuggle in for the night with my husband and my daughter.

I dare anyone who reads this to list five positive things and leave a link in a comment here.  Mondays seem to be the international day of gloom but it doesn’t have to be.  Take the first step to making Mondays great days!

A Welcome Change

Being unperfect, I have no problem admitting that there are times I miss my pre-baby life.  I wouldn’t trade being a mom for anything in the world, but it stings just a little when friends are going out to parties and I’m at home with the kids.  Tonight, it was a high school friend coming to town.

On my way home from work, I had an overwhelming urge to get home to my kids.  I worked six days this week, they were stressful days, and now I’m done for the week.  I have one day off, and then another six day week, including four days at an event we’re catering and two days finishing up the planning.  There’s some family drama going on right now that has me stressed. I have a package that’s MIA, somewhere in the USPS system (so much for 2-3 days!).  All of this combined to make me want nothing more than to get home to snuggle with my kids.

I do feel guilty for not going out with my friend, even though I would have been horribly late.  On the other hand, there’s nothing better than giving the little man his last bottle and having him fall asleep in my arms.  Well, unless you throw eating pizza, snuggling, and watching “Enchanted” with the four year old!

I’d much rather experience friend guilt than mommy guilt.  It wasn’t always that way, I used to feel I deserved the break and had no problem with the occasional night out.  Now, I can’t stand having Khaila away for more than a day (as I learned from a recent 2 night overnight with Nana) and I’d rather be home with them than out with friends.  This is a cool feeling!

Day Three

Today was day three of trying to be a more positive me.  For the most part, I’m claiming success.  There was tension when I blew not one but two fuses in the truck.  This meant that not only could I not charge my phone while we were running errands, we couldn’t open the back gate to put groceries in the truck.  Then there was the typical tension of a tired 4 year old testing her limits on the way home.

Even more than feeling calm, I’m really digging the little bits of organization and accomplishment I’m seeing.  I have NEVER been organized, just ask my parents.  My room was always a mess, I could never find anything.  Now, I’m finding places for things in my house and I’m making lists of what I hope to get done.  My living room is still clean (quite possibly a record), my bathroom has been cleared of all of the almost empty bottles, the kitchen sink is getting lonely without dishes keeping it company every night, and the coffee pot is an early riser, ready to greet me in the morning.

That brings up another point, I’m waking up in the morning!!!  Yes, I realize most of us do, and I also realize many people are morning people.  Me, I’m a sleeping people, or at least I was.  The past couple of mornings, I’ve been up bright and early without an alarm clock.  This would probably shock my dad and step-mom since I was the one who got in trouble for “multi-snoozing” when we first moved back to Wisconsin.  I’m not sure if I’m sleeping better because I’m not thinking about my messy house or if I’m not sub-consciously dreading getting out of bed only to be greeted by my clutter.  Either way, it’s nice to wake up and enjoy my morning coffee instead of having to race out of the house to get to work on time.

Tackling It From a Different Angle

I went back to working fulltime when RJ was only 2.5 weeks old.  My job is stressful, I had double mommy guilt, we had taken Khaila out of daycare, the list of contributors to a downward spiral goes on and on.  Soon, every aspect of my life was suffering from my negativity.

For this week’s “Tackle It Tuesday”, I am not choosing a household project, although that’s part of what has happened.  I’ve decided my tackle for the week is my attitude.  Yesterday, I sat at work dreading what was to come.  It was the calm before the storm and I was sure something big was building up.  Then and there, I decided that I needed to change my outlook.  I decided I was going to have a good day no matter what came my way.

First, the ice maker at work broke, meaning I had to call the boss for authorization to fix it.  Next, I found out we had to order four times what I was authorized to order if we wanted the price break.  This meant another call to the boss to tell him I was spending money that doesn’t come in as quickly as we need or would like.  While this already sounds like a true Monday, it was only starting.

Next, I had two disgruntled employees working with me.  I hate when I’m trying to stay positive and I have so much negativity around, but I managed.  After that, I realized I might not have anyone coming in for the evening shift.  When I called the employee who was scheduled and had called off his previous two shifts, I was told he had car problems and that he could come in even though the wheels may fall off his car at any time.  Since driving IS his job, I told him we’d get by without him.

After all of that and a nasty bug landing on my head, I was still letting it all roll off my back.  Not only that, but I had more energy than I’ve had in a long time.  I came home, cranked up the music, and cleaned the living room.  This may not seem huge to many people, but I had a serious case of CHAOS going on in there.  For those who have never tried FLYLady, that’s “Can’t Have Anyone Over Syndrome”.  By the time I was done, I loved the room enough to post a picture on Facebook.  After that, I made dinner, loaded the dishwasher, and did two more loads of laundry.

This morning, I realized the power of yesterday’s day of positivity.  I woke up refreshed, ready to get to work, ready to enjoy the morning with my family.  Today was day two of my attitude makeover.  I may not be a changed person yet, but I’m definitely changing.  I will always be unperfect, but I’m hoping to face this phase of my journey head-on and come out a better person for it.

I dare anyone to tackle their attitude and try to get through a day or two refusing to let anything get them down!