I’m sure mommy olympics have been going on as long as women have been having children, but I think it’s getting a bit out of hand with the evolution of the internet. Before, women only had other women in their town to compare to. Now, it’s entirely possible to be friends with women around the world who have kids the same age as your own.
When I was pregnant with Khaila, I was part of an online expecting club. When we were pregnant, it seemed to be a race to the finish line, delivery. Women who were due later in the month got upset about women who already had their babies talking too much about the trials of being a new mother. Even if you were good friends with someone, there could be bitterness at hearing the news that they were on their way to the hospital.
After delivery, it became who would roll over, sit up, crawl, talk, walk, etc. I really did enjoy my time in the group, but I have to say, I’m happier now than I was then. If Khaila does something that no one else’s kid is doing, I don’t have to worry about it sparking fear in other women that their child may be “behind” or that they’ll be questioning if I’m full of it.
There was one incident where one tot was sent for a speech therapy evaluation. He wasn’t talking as much as the other kids, but they were under two years old. As much as many moms said it was normal, having been through it with their older children, this ignited panic. At least ten other moms started to talk about demanding that their child be evaluated. This wasn’t based on discussion with their doctors, it was based on talking to one other mom whose child was being evaluated. Some moms were even upset that their doctors didn’t listen to the mommy-board diagnosis and send them straight to a therapist.
I thought about the group a few days ago as I was thinking about potty training. When I originally posted about potty training on my other blog, one person commented that they weren’t even thinking about it at this age. Briefly, I wondered if I had fallen into the “mommy olympic trap” and was trying to win the gold. Given the signs my daughter is showing, I don’t think so. I think I’m following the signs she is giving me and trying to be the best parent I can be.
I really hope that as time goes on, moms will realize that they need to do the best for their children in their own time. Not every child will walk at the same time, talk at the same time, or ever have the same skills as all other children. Ever child is still a blessing, even if they aren’t a prodigy!
